Who is your family?

My Mother is big K. She's educated and very intelligent. She's confident and self asserted to the point she comes up as violent and selfish. I wonder if it's just my conception about how a woman and mother should be. She has little patience for ANYTHING, including her children. She works as an accountant, she has worked very hard as long as I remember. Her father passed away when she was only 15 or 16, and she worked ever since.

My father is big J. His family comes from humble origins but all the males were educated while women were not. He attended college with my mom, where they fell in love. He's eight years older than my mom. He worked as an accountant and had his own firm, before he had a fall out with his partner and then fell ill with diabetes. He never took care of the household drama and willfully ignored my brother's abusive behavior.

My sis is named after my mom so we will call her little K. She's three years younger than me. She was beaten by my brother when we were growing up so much. She's married to someone who takes care of her and seems to love her dearly, I'm glad for that. She sometimes is blunt and innecessarily cruel with her tongue, she says she doesn't understand why she's being hurtful, but I think she secretly revels on the suffering she does. She has a double engineering degree and likes math.

My bro, who is named after my dad, we will call little J. He was very abusive as a pre-teen and teenager, even to his early adulthood. He used to beat his sisters up fairly often. He stopped doing when I was in the house and I pinned him down with my weight (since I've been heavy set for most of my life) and punched him in the face until my fists bled. I distanced from him afterwards. He's getting a divorce from a terrible woman as of now. He seems fairly decent adult now, I still don't like him much because he always discard my talking points as stupid and crazy.

I wish I connected with them a lot more, but being apart makes me appreciate them a lot more now. Not that I want to be near them they make me feel bad about myself. I love them, sure. But not so much.